Today I decided to test my food stores
that were in the freezer and see if my bread would rise even though it had
thawed during the 19 hours of no power. It began to rise the way it should but
then it stopped at about the half way mark. After giving it an extra two hours
without it growing any further I realized it was trash. Hard work making my
dough just to toss it out, the yeast was dead. So along with having no fresh
bread I have a fridge and freezer full of food that is deemed inedible and the
freezer bottom is rather sticky, likely from ice cream or the frozen juices.
The dog, my Puppet, is still sick but
seems to be on the mend. After nearly 48 hours of fasting and about 10 hours of
no more mess I decided it was time to try the rice. Since I don’t eat rice and
had forgot to grab some in town I was blessed to be able to run to the
neighbours and borrow some rice. Its kind of funny to think about it because
you always hear about “borrowing a cup of sugar” and I never thought I would
have to do that! What a blessing to have a neighbour who happens to have a farm
that I can borrow from when needed. Rice is on the list of things to pick up
tomorrow. So far Puppet is handling the rice in her tummy well, fingers
crossed. I have a big bowl of rice cooling in the fridge for her next meal.
I love to look into my fridge and see
things that I have made, even if it is a bowl of rice for the dog! This is only
the third time I have ever made rice, which is why I didn’t own any and had
forgot to pick it up. I was impressed with myself when I saw that it came out
white and fluffy! How silly is that?
My wiener dog is outside barking her
fool head off right now, she likes to go out and bark for an hour or so every day,
as long as it’s not too hot. With the evening breeze and the shade she is
happily barking at the rabbits that seem to think our yard is their yard!
The crab-apples are almost ready to be
picked. I need to get to them before the bear does. Hopefully I win. I don’t
know what to do with them though. I personally hate the texture of apples and
crab apples taste so bitter. I think I will do some searching and see if I can
find a recipe for them, otherwise I will give them to my lovely neighbour and
see what she comes up with! She seems to be a very good housewife with her
ability to cook and clean and her work ethic. Farming isn’t easy and I often
say I would love to have that life but on the days where I just need to stay in
bed I know I would be an epic fail at farming. That said, I still intend to get
some chickens, just a few and obviously not this year. It would be wonderful to
have farm fresh eggs every day for cooking and baking. They don’t have that
disgusting “old” smell or flavor that eggs from the grocery store have. Fresh
is always the way to go and once you figure out your recipes and have your
pantry stocked cooking from scratch becomes second nature and doesn’t take any
more time than the prepackaged stuff. It’s also a lot cheaper and a lot
healthier.
The house is slowly coming along as
far as de-cluttering and cleaning up goes. It was going a lot faster until the
dog got sick and she has since become my priority. I am excited to hopefully
get back on track with my cleaning and purging of stuff over the next few days
as she starts to get better.
My porch is still tidy and organized
the kitchen floor is picked up and in need of a good wash. The dishes are piled
up and the couch cushions need to have their covers put back on so they can be
returned to the couch. The entire house needs swept up and the floors all need
vacuumed and then washed. I can see the light at the end of this long dark
tunnel though, which is something I haven’t felt in a few years. I have been
paralyzed by loss and death and as my world mentally fell down around me I gave
up on the physical world as well.
I still have nightmares about being
killed, about being raped, etc. I often wonder if and when they will ever end
and if they don’t if I will be capable of dealing with these images and
emotions for the rest of my life. I certainly don’t want to. I wish they would
invent that amnesia pill that I am after.
Last night in my sleep I was in their
house standing out on the deck looking out over the lake wondering how I was
going to get away this time. I could feel the bindings even tighter around me
holding me in their own replica of hell. I wasn’t scared. I wasn’t scared when
I was going through it either. I was just trying to survive. It’s odd how my
fears now are more intense than they were all those years ago. Adrenaline and
survival truly do take over any other thought processes. In that sense I did
exactly what I needed to do. I got us out –alive!
Since the power outage I have begun to
restock my fridge and cupboards just in case. I have a couple of cases of
water, some water flavoring to make juice if needed. I bought some powdered
milk because I am sick of wasting money on things I don’t necessarily use.
I have done a quick inventory to
ensure I have stuff for baking and cooking if the power is to be out that long
again unexpectedly. I replaced a couple of the things from my freezer and over
the next week or so I will be pre-making some bread and pizza dough to freeze.
I should also try and get some of the blocks of cheese from the wholesale store
and cut them into portions making sure to freeze some, as well as some lunch
meats, like pepperoni etc so that if the power does go out again I can cook
from the freezer and not depend on take out.
I am also going to purchase some
propane canisters so that I can cook. I don’t want food to go to waste the way
it did this last time and everything in my freezer can be prepared with a
propane element or the generator if need be, offering us a variety of foods and
ensuring that there is minimal waste.
I looked up how long eggs will last
past their date and the egg thingy of America says that they will last approx.
five weeks after their expiry date, they just cannot be sold past that date.
Then it continued and said that for each day eggs are not refrigerated that you
should count that day as one week. So, essentially, if I have eggs in my fridge
and the power goes out I should have no problem preparing breakfast without a
fridge for at least five days! Am I weird because this makes me happy?
A quick tip to cooking
eggs is if you want hardboiled eggs to use your older eggs for this purpose as
they are far easier to shell when it’s time to eat. However, fresh eggs have
very little to no odor, even when hardboiled so I guess it’s up to you!
If you are really low on cash and
can’t afford to get to the store often you can purchase whole dried eggs which
you would use much like normal eggs for baking and cooking, however they do not
work well if you need them to be fluffy. I haven’t seen this product in our
grocery stores here but I am sure you can get them in the city. You can also
get them online from wholesale food distributers. If you can afford to invest
in filling your pantry right now then why wait until an emergency just to find
out your broke and have nothing to eat?
Tomorrow if it is cool out again I
think I am going to do some baking. I want to make some cherry tarts and some
molasses cookies. It’s odd how finding myself involves me going back to where I
have already been. I am most comfortable there though, cooking, cleaning, being
a mom and a wife (even though I am not married). I enjoy preparing foods,
especially with the kids. There is nothing better than seeing the pride on
their faces about a misshapen cookie that they want everyone to see before
devouring it.
Those small moments are the ones that
remind me how blessed I am. I get to cook with my children. I get to be the one
who is in the lake with them as they grin from ear to ear because they swam for
the first time from the dock out to me where none of us can touch. I get to
experience the good the bad and the ugly and those good moments where genuine
excitement and pride in accomplishments achieved through hard work shine
through all the bickering and fighting vanished for a moment. I pray that other
parents are able to experience these things with their children and realize the
blessing that these seemingly small achievements truly are.
I pray that my children continue to
talk to me about their problems and that I am the one who gets invited into
their room when they need to have a private chat that I am the one they trust
with their lives while swimming for the first time. I pray my God and Saviour
sees that I realize that each of these
moments is a gift from Him and that He continues to bless me with all of the
big and small things that life as a parent brings.
I’m excited to get married and to
start this journey again with someone who loves me unconditionally and whom I
love just the same. Through the good and the bad, sickness and health until
death do us part. I am ready to move forward in my life and quit wasting time.
I am ready to be a wife. I am ready to fulfill the role God placed me here for.
