Wednesday, April 11, 2012

The Stranger Next Door

People always say that they couldn’t be abused. They couldn’t be brainwashed. They couldn’t fall into that sort of life. They don’t understand the complexities that go into that type of relationship. It’s not like you wake up one day and decide you want to be owned, possessed, injured, raped, beaten, held prisoner. You don’t make this choice in a moment. Before you even realize that you are a prisoner you have been forced into that life, those ways. 

It starts out simple, like dinner isn’t ready. Maybe things are kinky in the bedroom. One day dinner is burnt or late and he goes a little crazy on you. You don’t understand how or why he is reacting that way but you don’t like it. You try harder to please him… likely for the kids. You want things to work because you don’t want people to look at you like everything you have accomplished was fake, for nothing. 

There are always threats looming over head and a punishment waiting. It is shameful, it is embarrassing and now it is your life. Definitely not what you expected your life would become. 

I often wonder how many women out there are owned by their boyfriends or now Masters. It makes me so sad to realize that I am not alone, that this does happened to people, threats do exist, victims are taken and survive. You don’t have to be kidnapped to be held against your will, or brainwashed by fear. If these people looked like monsters no one would go near them. Instead they are your average every day person. They have jobs, decent homes, don’t draw much attention. They fit in and slip through often going unnoticed. That’s how they like it. You never hear someone saying “I knew my neighbour was a psycho kidnapper” instead you hear “wow, I’m shocked, he seemed so normal, I had no clue”.

Look at the green river killer. He killed for some 20 years and fell in love and was married during that time. He kept newspaper articles about his crimes and when questioned he said it was nothing to worry about. His wife had no clue. His friends had no clue. Countless women brutally tortured and killed and no one had any clue. He was the average everyday psycho, just like the rest of them.

Then you have people like Charles Manson. He was the alleged mastermind behind seven murders, and committed one or two of them on his own (can’t recall and refuse to Google right now). Because of the way he chose to live his life, the petty crimes, and his “family” he was given a death sentence for a murder he wasn’t even present for. His mind and the way he portrays himself instilled insurmountable fear into everyone who heard him speak. He isn’t being punished for his crimes; he is being punished for crimes that his “family” committed, allegedly for him. When people ask who killed Sharon Tate everyone says “Charles Manson” but that’s not the case. He wasn’t even there!!! I have been rooting for him for years to get out of jail and he keeps getting denied parole because his mind terrifies everyone when he speaks.

Ted Bundy was suave enough that he had a woman in a bag and was pulled over. The police noticed the bag and he convinced the officer that it was just smelly trash. The officer let him go without looking. 

Then there are cases like this where the person appears to have a normal life regardless of extremely strange behaviour. He was successful and because of that success he got away with killing over 50 people and unless you’re a nerd like me, you likely have never heard of him or this case. Another case of monsters don’t appear as they are. 

It was interesting, as I was writing about Manson earlier it popped up in my news cast on the sidebar that he was denied parole again today. Then Letterman came on and he also spoke of Manson being denied parole, making stupid, corny jokes as only Letterman can. 

I have no clue where the point of all this is going. I just started to write because I was feeling triggered about my own past and how it’s the friendly neighbour you need to worry about and not necessarily the guy who seems to be creepy because he is misunderstood. 

I have had a LONG day for me and I have a lot of stuff to attempt to do in the next few days. None of which I actually thing I can get done. I am sick of being in pain, and pain that makes me sick.

At least tonight I can sleep knowing that for now I am free. It may not remain that way. I may be taken against my will at any given time. I have no clue what the plan is by the sociopaths who once held my life in their hands. Today I was free, tomorrow I may be dead. Only time will tell. At least because I refuse to be quiet about this that if I am killed people will know exactly who did it and where to find them. 

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