I Walk

I remember…

The first time I loved something and lost it and how much it hurt my heart, even if it was for just a few short days. I still have regrets about my guinea pig being given away because I didn’t take good enough care of it at such a young age. Small losses are a blessing that prepare us for the inevitable big losses later in our lives. The bigger losses are often felt like a blow and tend to make people go one of two ways, the first way being turning to faith and prayer and strengthening their relationship with God and the second is them blaming god and turning away from faith, religion and God, altogether.

The blessing…

Is hidden deep within the loss as we grow stronger and into better people who love, care, feel, empathize and thank our Lord and Saviour for the small moments, no matter how short they were, each and every day.

This leaves…

Each of us to be even more grateful for the bigger things in life because we are supported during those small times, we are strengthened through His Holy Name and we are able to keep grounded in the faith in which we naturally dwell.

Moments of happiness to be cherished, moments of pain to not be forgotten and each moment in between to be given to our Creator.

I walk…

Through the depths of shallow waters and know that I am part of this world; The sand between my toes, the water lapping at my ankles and the sounds of nature all around, reminding me that I am alive.

With God by my side and when I try to run from Him I am followed as He waits for me to pick myself up and hand life over to Him once again. He is all knowing, all mighty and His love is unconditional and it often takes us a lot of falls in order to strengthen our relationship with Him into something one can trust.

It’s…

Not about scripture or who knows history the most. It is about following in His footsteps, living with a servants’ heart and finally accepting that His presence is always there as He waits to guide you and begs you to get to know Him.

The only way to happiness and real joy that can’t be taken away from you because your value isn’t placed in the objects around you but instead the love in which you receive from both our God in Heaven and those who we are blessed to have in our lives in the physical realm as well.

Today…

I got sick of spending money on premade things and decided that I would make pizza crust for our lunch instead of buying one. It turned out yummy even though I slightly over kneaded the dough. A premade pizza crust or a box of pizza dough and sauce is between 5 and 8 dollars, not including toppings. Today I bought yeast for 5 dollars, sugar for 2 dollars and flour for five dollars. Obviously it would have been cheaper had I went for bulk. I needed a couple tablespoons of canola oil and some salt and ten minutes later I was spreading out fresh dough! It’s these simple moments that I feel the most blessed in. To think I made pizza dough for a matter of only a few cents and a complete pizza for about 2 dollars and to know exactly what is in it and what isn’t in it is a wonderful feeling. I filled the hungry tummies around the dining room table while saving lots of money! I must add the fresh pizza dough was more filling then premade ones and we ended up eating far less. I figured we would be cutting it close for portions and we ended up with over half a pizza left! God is good! I am so blessed to have my eyes opening up to the simplicities of life once again. I have missed this part of me.

Tomorrow…

If the weather is good I think I will make some fresh bread instead of going to the farmers market (although I do enjoy giving these lovely men and women money for delicious foods and for encouraging us through the Lord). I used to make bread and cinnamon rolls and everything you can imagine over and over again. I had lost the motivation but God is working in me and I am finding the housewife in me coming back.

My prayer…

For others is that they will too find the Lord and continue their journey of faith and happiness with Him. Even when they can’t see the light that they may know it is there, He never leaves us.

For me, is to get married and start my family and to live a Christ based life where I can focus on the children I am sure we shall have and to focus on my husband and God and church and the simple things that come from keeping our lives “clutter” free from the chaos of debt, possessions and negative emotions.

For now…

At least it all looks good on paper!